My passion is .....no wait it's......

          Have you ever had a moment where you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life? I have...the only problem is I've experienced it several times and it happens ever few years. Sometimes it only lasts half a year before I find another passion. I don't really mind though. If I stuck to just one thing my whole life I would feel like I was missing out. I had an argument with my piano teacher once about this where I said I didn't want to just practice the piano all the time because I wanted a life. With which she responded that those who spent their whole lives doing nothing but play the piano had remarkable wonderful lives and even tried to assert that their lives might even be better than others. Ironically her only prodigy at the time grew up to be a shut in, depressed, unable to function in society, and for years refused to touch the piano. I'm not saying that it's wrong to have one grand passion for a lifetime. I am saying that it is not for me and probably not for most people. The fact that we have the ability to get bored ever in this magnificent world full of wonders proves to me that humans need change. In other words I've been crazy about making my own books lately and I haven't ever been crazy about it before but now I am and I'm perfectly ok with it. My husband even supports it....mostly. I hope others are ok with their sudden dream changes too.
          It is my theory if we as a society allowed people to change dreams as often as they wanted we would have a much more creative and a much less stressed out world. If I wasn't so worried about following a societal norm I would drop out of school tomorrow and start my own book printing press. My husband would quit his job and be a fire fighter.  If we did this our mortgage would never get paid and we'd be out on the curb in a few months. However we could be a little less strict with ourselves and chase a few more dreams. I think I'm going to try. Even when I'm tired with no time left to do anything but write a research paper I'm going to let myself dream and maybe even take a couple minutes and sketch some ideas. My other goal is to let others have room for dreams. The next time my mother says she's going to put off finishing her degree because she needs to work I'm going to do my best to convince her that  dad makes enough money and she should register. I think I'm also going to just start finding out what my loved one's dreams are and see if I can help. Maybe that's how things will change, maybe more dreams come true when you get a little help. I think I'll call it the pixie dust project.

Prove People Wrong

          I have come to the sad conclusion that nobody has ever really believed in me. Of course my mother always told me "I think you can do anything you set your mind to", but I don't really think she's ever expected me to do anything great. I've never had a teacher or a friend believe I could do great things. I guess that's normal, there's not a lot of people I expect to do great things. However I think we should. What if all it took for more people to achieve their dreams was to have someone believe they could do it. Every time I've had a big idea it's been shot down so fast I never had time to really dream about it. I once told my father that it would be awesome if my friends and I could record our own music. His response was basically that it was a stupid idea and that recording studios and equipment are so amazingly expensive that we would never get close. And now look how many people have gotten famous on YouTube because they had some simple home recording equipment at home.
          My husband is the same way. I want to make money from home. That is one of my biggest dreams. I would feel so settled if I could contribute financially to my family and still be able to be home with my children. However every time I have an idea on how to do this suddenly  my husband has 20 reasons why I can't. I won't make this mistake. When people come to me with ideas, even if I think they're crazy, I'm going to tell them I think they should try it. What is left for me is believing in myself. I've started to dream and scheme quietly so that nobody can tell me I can't. When I succeed and they wonder at the fact they had no idea  I was even planning such things. I will just smile and say "and therefore you never had the chance to tell me I couldn't". I hope this happens because I love more then anything to prove people wrong about what I can do.

Turn off the TV and....

          On Monday I ran 5 miles with only a 30 second water break. That is the farthest I have run in one sitting in my entire life. I am 23 years old almost 24 this month and I just wish I had started really living my life earlier. There are so many things I feel like I've already missed out on. I know it's poppy cock and that I have quite a bit of life left, I just feel lately that my time is so precious I wish that I hadn't wasted a second of it. Although the only way you find out how precious time is, is if you waste enough of it to regret it. I dream a lot of going back in time and doing things over but I always remember that there is nothing I could change or too many good things would be missing.
          I wouldn't have met my friend Laura in Mesa, I wouldn't have my kitties Remus and Romulus, and I might not have married Sterling. Truly when I think about it I like where I am. To be a little more clear though I do wish I'd started exercising when I was 10, eating healthy when I was 5 and drawing and practicing music every day since then as well. This comes from feeling like I'll never be truly who I want to be- a fit and active happy mom with mad drawing and music skills. I know my childhood was important and I wouldn't trade my imaginary adventures for anything but I could've watched a lot less TV. Even if I had just played outside more I think I would feel more at ease with where my time has gone. Since I can't go back the only thing to do is make sure I don't waste any more time. I hope I'll be able to do this for my children, give them a childhood they couldn't imagine regretting.
        When people say that children are the future I don't think they know how right they are. Everything we do influences the world that the next generation will grow up in which in turn will influence the world we will all exist in. When people say that children are the future they need to remember that means we as adults are making the future.